by Ginny Sassaman, M.S.
Last night, in the middle of a community “movie night” viewing of High Fidelity, I watched Ian (Tim Robbins) approach Rob (John Cusack). At that point in the movie, Rob’s former and possibly future girlfriend has moved in with Ian. The two men are definitely in conflict. Then, unexpectedly, Ian announces that he’s a professional “conflict resolver” and has come to Rob’s record store to resolve the tension between them. It’s a well-crafted movie, and I don’t want to give away any more, so let me just note that Ian doesn’t exactly help improve the reputation of our field.

Just a week before, I’d been in the midst of a very different community—mediators attending the second annual Rocky Mountain Retreat on mediation, spirituality and healing. Keep reading →

by Amy Beth Kessinger, M.S. 

I realized early on in mediation training that I needed to examine the ways in which my language limits my effectiveness as a conflict intervener. I may understand the function of an open-ended question, or summary, or even a reframe, but how can I apply my understanding to useful ends if my language is sloppy?

This discovery was unnerving because I had otherwise thought myself a reasonably well-spoken person. After all, I teach English.

Part of me wallowed in a puddle of self-doubt: I started seeing all my interactions as failures to connect (with students, colleagues, even my family). Another part of me had to admit that this new self-awareness (however upsetting) was sort of freeing; my honest self knew that I had a lot to learn about the power of my words. Keep reading →

by Amy Beth Kessinger, M.S.

Last week, I facilitated a mother/daughter mediation. I’ve been working with this family in another professional capacity for four years and simply put, they trust me; so it made sense to mediate when the mom approached me about a very serious dispute between her and her daughter.

Yet, my book-learning brain overshadowed my ethical intuition—at least for the moment. I thought: I should not agree to do this mediation because I cannot offer these people “true” impartiality; doing so would be a clear violation of a central mediator ethical standard. After all, I can’t pretend to have a lack of interest, because I do care about both the mom and her daughter. Moreover, I can’t be free of prior knowledge since I’ve been accumulating it since the girl was in the 8th grade. Finally, I can’t pretend that I am without bias because I do believe one parent’s actions are causing terrible pain to his family (there is a history of physical abuse).

Given this ethical dilemma, was there something I could offer these people in place of impartiality? Keep reading →

What does depth of mediation education have to do with the scope of an ADR professional’s dreams and aspirations? Maybe more than I was aware.

A while back, one of our graduates emailed the faculty on this very topic. Lisa Bedinger, M.S., first studied at Woodbury in our year-long mediation certificate program. She returned to Woodbury as part of our first master’s degree cohort and walked across the stage with her Master’s in Mediation and Applied Conflict Studies this past summer (for more on Lisa, read her brief bio is at the foot of this article).

Intrigued by Lisa’s reflections, I invited her to be interviewed for this blog. The first segment below is from Lisa’s initial email and the interview continues from there. Keep reading →

Kathy Sierra of Creating Passionate Users enjoys challenging assumptions, asking the questions others haven’t, and noting when the emperor has no clothes. She’s much like a very blunt mediator in those ways.

She’s done it again with The Dumbness of Crowds, a title takeoff of James Surowiecki’s bestseller, The Wisdom of Crowds. On the dangers of collaboration and consensus, Sierra says:

Clearly there IS wisdom in the many as long as you don’t “poison” the crowd by forcing them to agree (voting doesn’t mean agreeing). According to Surowiecki, even just sharing too much of your own specialized knowledge with others in the group is enough to taint the wisdom and dumb-down the group. Keep reading →

Geoff Sharp broke my heart this afternoon.

An animal lover, I was deeply saddened by his story and my mental images of the dying horses. A mediator, I was captivated at the same time. And a teacher, I felt the truth of his words.

You can find Geoff’s mediator blah…blah… post at Rehearsing in Poetry But Practising in Prose.

by Amy Beth Kessinger, M.S.

While language certainly matters to mediators, I have discovered that voice is what the parties actually hear. After my first few months in mediation training, I grew to really understand that my voice is not simply the sentences that slip out of my mouth: it is the space I inhabit on this small earth; it is the way I synthesize, create and share meaning with others.

In this sense, my voice equates to energy, a sort of capacity to infuse liveliness into a given space. And those who know me will agree: energy is not something I lack and indeed, it is a gift on which many personal and professional successes have been built.

Yet one of my Woodbury mediation teachers suggested last year that my energy needs maturing. Keep reading →

A few days ago, I shared the first part of my delightful interview with conflict resolution pioneer Mary Parker Follett, with whom I connected courtesy of Albie Davis. In Part 1, I asked Mary, “Since the election is now over, what is your thinking about how we might do a better job of governing ourselves and running election campaigns?” Her thoughtful answer continues here.

Mary Parker Follett: Third, my thoughts on the recent election. Now, from a different perspective, I ask myself what was the message of the election. It seems to me the results suggest President Bush, who seems to cling to an old-fashioned notion of decision making, claiming, “I am the decider!” received a response from the electorate to the contrary. In a sense, the final tallies said, “No, we are the deciders.” But, an election is but a moment in a process and we must watch to see how that process evolves. Of course, we are not just watching, but responding, and Keep reading →

Mary Parker Follett, a pioneer in the field of conflict resolution, was also known as the “prophet of management.” In her prolific writing and creative thinking about all forms of human interactions, Ms. Follett paved the way for some of the best of the current thinking in conflict resolution and in organizational management. In her lifetime (1886 – 1933), Ms. Follett engaged a wide variety of people from everyday workers to heads of corporations to influential government leaders. Her book, The Speaker of the House, was a favorite of Lyndon Johnson.

Because of the current interest in the writings of Mary Parker Follett, we have contacted Ms. Follett through the courtesy of her friend Albie Davis (more on Albie in a bit) and asked if she would answer some questions for us. She has graciously agreed and this is the first of several periodic posts in which I’ll share Ms. Follett’s thoughts and ideas. Keep reading →

by Ginny Sassaman, M.S.

My house is much quieter than a week ago, when my husband Bob and I hosted 17 guests for Thanksiving — family and honorary family members flying and driving great distances for a holiday reunion. The first to arrive was also the oldest, my 92 year-old father-in-law. The youngest came from Sacramento, an 18 month-old great niece. It was wonderful to greet them all, and wonderful to bid them all adieu.

Because this was the first such gathering since I began the Woodbury program, there were many questions about Keep reading →